Former Bottled Sports wannabe employee is looking for relationship advice and needs it ASAP before he scares every female away

Let’s make one thing clear, that photo above isn’t of the former Bottled Sports wannabe employee but it is something he would do. There’s two types of dude’s in this world: the ones that want girlfriends and will do anything (and I mean anything) they can do get one and the ones that want girlfriends but don’t really make an effort to get one. Most of my single guy friends fall into one of those two categories. I traveled to Minneapolis this past weekend with Syd The Kid and had a good time. We met up with G-Train and had a couple too many beers and played Russian Shot Roulette at an as legit Russian bar as you can get in the state of Minnesota.

DJ, who also most likely probably goes by a different name was supposed to join us for the weekend festivities but he’s trying to fall in love with a lady that he met four days ago. I repeat FOUR DAYS AGO.

Here’s the thing with DJ: he’s that guy that’ll do anything to find a girlfriend even if it’s borderline psychopathic. He deleted 400 “dirty” photos of his phone, he deactivated his Tinder and Bumble profiles and set a budget for their first official date. Did I mention they’ve only been talking for four days? Once a guy that hasn’t had skin on skin contact with a female in over multiple years they fall into this trap that’s called the love box. They get a little taste of what it feels like to be talking to a lady again and they get sucked in and trapped and it can happen literally over night like we see with DJ. Once you’re in the love box, you can’t escape it even if the box is dark, cold and moist. This is where DJ is at right now. They’ve been sending hearts back and forth to each other and if that doesn’t scream get out than I’m not sure what does. I repeat they’ve been talking for four days. Starting or working on starting a relationship is fun. But when all the magic and hearts and sweet texts come a week into first chatting, then what is to come in six months? Or a year? Or longer? Divorce.


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