Dairy Queen is no longer part of my life

I love Dairy Queen. Excuse me, I used to love Dairy Queen. Hell, I even stuck behind the ice cream company when they blasted out signs that read, “Scream until dad stops the car” or “Scream until Daddy stops” Yeah, it was a questionable saying but if you’re mind is outta the damn nasty gutter, it makes sense. But it does sound super sexual. I don’t hate it. Now I’m done with Dairy Queen. Forever. You won’t find me eating ice cream anymore. This place sucks. And why? Because now they are releasing a special blizzard in honor of MLB Opening Day but it won’t be released in Minnesota. I mean, Jesus, what does a guy gotta do to get one of these one of a kind blizzards? Well, you have to be a fan of a team that is playing at home Thursday to kick off the 2018 baseball season. What a joke. Talk about being anti away teams. Everyone at this joint should be fired and that’s a fact.

MINNEAPOLIS — For the first time in 50 years, all 30 Major League teams will play on the same day. To mark the occasion, Dairy Queen will release the “Triple Play Blizzard” featuring a vanilla soft serve base with caramel coated peanuts, caramel popcorn brittle, and chocolate chunks. The treat is topped off with chocolate drizzled caramel corn and pretzel rods.


However, because this blizzard is so special, it is only being released in the 15 cities and locations where the MLB Opening games are being played. The Minnesota Twins begin the 2018 campaign on the road against Baltimore.


You’d think Dairy Queen would want all 30 MLB teams to buy into this promotion. But instead they picked eight states that were ranked in the Top 15 of most populated states in the US and of course Canada. What a joke. Dairy Queen will not be getting a cent from me anymore.

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