The NDSU Basketball Season Is All The Way Down To Bragging About Academic All District Honorees

When I was in college I worked for a school in the athletic department. I worked in the sports information department recording statistics and writing up game recaps and press releases. Reporting sports news isn’t always fun. Sometimes you get blown out 50-0 in the homecoming football game and other times you win the conference title game. You have to report the facts whether they’re good or terrible.

That brings us to the very sad, sad tweet by the North Dakota State basketball program tonight.

The key when you’re in this line of work is to not bury your school or program. Excentuate the positives, trash the negatives. When I would report on a night when one of our teams got their asses kicked, I’d use phrases like “They really struggled to get it going on offense tonight” instead of “The offense sucked donkey dick and should be ashamed of themselves” on the regular.

NDSU is currently 13-16 this season, losers in six of their last seven games. Unless they really turn it on and play lights out in the conference tournament, their season will be over soon, hell, it might already be over. When you don’t have anything to brag about on the court you look to literally anything to give your fans a positive headline. Fukn anything.

NDSU is the only Division 1 school in the country with two Academic All-District honorees this season. That is the saddest goddamn thing I’ve read in a fortnight.


I’m sure any non-NDSU fans out there don’t give a hot shit that the Bison are struggling on the basketball court this season. Between their football team winning their 6th national title in 7 years and the success they’ve had in hoops in the past, a down year isn’t anything to start getting feels over.

Enjoy the Academic All-District honorees NDSU, we’re all so proud. But really? Are we?



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