There are some people in this world that amaze me every day. Red Gerard won an olympic gold medal at 17-years-old at the 2018 Winter Olympics. Tatum O’Neal won an Oscar at the age of 10 in 1973. Pete Sampras won the first of his 14 grand slam titles at age 19. None of that compares to the sheer brilliance of 33-year-old Terrence Lee Keplin of Fargo, North Dakota.
He began the days shenanigans at a Hornbachers grocery store. After deceiving, swindling, and utilizing all of the flimflam available to him to score some flowers, Keplin doubled down on his decision making and ran from the cops. While already on foot, he decided to enter the West Acres Mall to lose the cops. It didn’t work so well and he immediately needed to find a hiding spot.
Maybe he needed some flowers for Valentine’s day and didn’t have nine dollars. Maybe he saw the perfect bouquet and couldn’t help himself. Maybe he needs to re-evaluate his decision making process and embrace the Socratic method.
The chase continued inside the mall.
While inside the public mall with cameras and security everywhere, he decided to use the back room of MasterCuts as his extraction point. After robbing one of the employees of the hair salon, he hopped up into the ceiling because he thinks this is Die Hard and he’s John McClane. Yippie Ki Yay, indeed.
Eventually, the Paul Blart of the West Acres mall found our runaway flower thief. He’s now facing charges of shoplifting, refusal to halt, criminal mischief, theft and has an open warrant. All of those charges stem from wanting to steal flowers from a grocery store. That’s next level stupidity. The employees at Hornbachers, West Acres, and specifically, that MasterCuts salon won’t soon forget this day.