Sober January is not a thing. Just ask this girl.

Don’t label people, lady. Come on. That’s what’s fukn wrong with the world today. So this girl from Minnesota, goes downtown. I think she is talking about Mankato in the message exchange but she is downtown doing her thing. Trying to get her move on. And she gets hit on by a guy with braces and a lisp. Not just any lisp but a gnarly lisp. Three strikes and I’ll automatically say I don’t like this girl and one sentence into her message and she has one strike. She then proceeds to make friends with a guy in a wheelchair. Not really sure why it matters if this guy was in a wheelchair or not. Strike two. Then since she had two encounters with two people she decided to cap her night off making out with a dude with a back brace. Strike three and fuk this girl, you are out. I wasn’t the best at trying to pick up girls. I had my fails. These three dudes probably have better game than me but it seems that this girl was feeling sympathetic to them and gave them a line and then passed out at home, woke up and told her girly friends what a nice person she was being at the bar. I always get confused with who is sending what message on an iPhone. I’m I the blue or white? I don’t fukn no or care. But the response in the blue was dialed in and spot on. I really don’t know if that girl is going to heaven or hell. Actually, fuk that, she’s not going to either. She’s going to a different place where all the asshole chicks go.



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