I haven’t been by to visit since the last snowfall, but I know you wont hold it against me. I was going through some old photos tonight and it reminded me how much I missed you and wish you were still here with me. I always took it for granted that you were so attached to my hip and so affectionate. I didn’t fully appreciate it until you were gone how special of a friend you really were. You hated being alone, just like me, and I’m sorry I left you by yourself so much. I was so busy with myself and trying to fix a broken relationship that I feel at times you got pushed aside and that wasn’t fair to you. The way you acted everytime I came home nearly broke my heart. You couldn’t hide how much you missed me and it hurt to see that. I’d always try coming home at least once a day it even then it didn’t feel like enough. And then I ended up in the hospital with a lung growth and nerve damage, along with severe heart palpitations I was so focused on myself I didn’t see you losing weight and getting sick. And I’m so fucking sorry about that. I had spent all my money the past month on drinking my pain away and I couldn’t afford to get you the help you needed. Then watching you die was the most gut wrenching and painful thing I’ve had to sit through. I couldn’t even put you down and end your pain, I just didn’t have the guts to. As you laid there frozen and seizing, eyes froze open taking your last breaths, you tried brushing my hand with your face one last time, even though you had no body control left. You let me know you were still in there somewhere, it still breaks my heart thinking about it. I have struggled with health issues since but I think I am finally ready to take in another to battle this fucking depression and hopefully be a better companion this time around. Be the kind of friend I should’ve been to you. Have fun playing on that Rainbow Bridge and maybe I’ll see you on the other side some day.