Employees are resigning at Bottled Sports but were they even employees?

It’s never a good sign when you hire employees with fake money. But it’s also never a great sign when those employees you hired decide to leave because the money wasn’t real. I got some boys running Bottled Sports’ social media and they’ve been doing a solid job. But now they say they are resigning via text message. Fuk you, guys. In the last two weeks I’ve had seven “writers” turn me down. It probably doesn’t help that in the subject line of the emails I put, “NEED WRITERS — CAN’T AFFORD TO PAY THEM BUT STILL NEED WRITERS”

I reached out to 12 businesses about some advertisement opportunities that included a gentlemen’s club but they all said nope. I looked into printing 100 newspapers (12 pages each) and the printing press said it would be $424.21 but 500 or 1,000 newspapers would cost me only an extra $14.59 and $33.45. Goddamn I ain’t got cash for that shit. My two “full-time” employees that I was never paying are demanding $50 a day and/or $2,500 a month. I mean what the actually fuk is that sorcery? Is Bottled Sports fuked?

Absolutely fukn not but we are at war with a few of our employees. We had three solid writers but they also decided to say fuk this and haven’t returned any emails/DM’s so yeah so far so fuked. But we will continue to make our way to the tips before 2017 is over and maybe a delayed Christmas miracle is on its way. I better get back to sexting Santa and asking him for a little help from the elves.

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